new year or some new fear???

a new year...new hopes ...new opportunities an altogether new beginning ...

As the whole world welcome New Year with their open arms and heart...I guess I was the one who slept before 12 in the night, as I could hear people in my neighbourhood celebrated with their friends and family.

almost all the people I met all the day had some or the other plan for the new years eve...but i guess I was the one who was least bothered about the new year , the  thing is i don't find anything interesting about the new year its just another day after 31st December.

when i was off to bed i had so many random thoughts that moved in my head, like a motion picture i had all the clippings of past year moving in front of my eyes,the past year was initially somehow good but after July things changed for me significantly ,everything went upside down be it my health, career, money or love life. i was struggling through lot of things then, dint know which way to go and what to do i felt as if i was good for nothing. when my health started to deteriorate even more thanks to the amount of stress i was taking , ultimately i decided to just gush with the things i will not utilize my brains and will just act according to the situation demands. I thought god is hinting me to rest so why not just do that, perhaps this holds something good for me. 

regardless of all,  i come to pass a job which saves my life actually, reason it helps to me just overcome of things i went through, and so also help me to pull up my fading confidence, and then new year arrives.. here i am still struggling with my job, trying to learn things, understand the people and adjust with the new environment. At the same moment i am somewhere at war within myself just to prove something to the world and society i don't know for what and most decisively to myself. i am just not happy the way things are shaping up for me.

 That’s the reason why i feel that New Year will have nothing new for me.

I don't even hope that things will be good, it’s an inner feeling that there is lots more worse to happen and thinking this horrifies me to a great extent, actually the feeling is i have lost the patience or i cannot let life test me more but on a positive note deep inside, my heart says bring it ON!!

  i am ready to face all the challenges, without any ups and downs life seems very boring right?

 more to the point, my mom is my strength and support she always makes me understand one thing ,that after every darkness there is light which is a new morning a brand new day of new hopes and new opportunities that will arise, thinking this i just closed my eyes offered my daily prayer to the almighty and said thank you for everything. gradually just said god, I firmly believe in you and it’s my trust that whatever you will do this year will definitely in some or the way will be good for me and will be an experience for the coming years of my life...

the loud music, people screaming with the loud voice on their building terraces HAPPY NEW YEAR  which  happened to be the last sounds i heard before i slept and walked into my wonderland.